An Introvert

I'm pretty introverted for an aspiring journalist.
When I signed up to be a military journalist I didn't know I signed up to be a professional social butterfly.
Because if you don't talk to people, you don't get stories.
But when you have to talk to people...
It's hard, sometimes, to talk to people, new people, higher ranking people.
My eyes drop to the ground. I start busying myself with some task. I think of ice-breakers in futility. I smile ackwardly and then resume the silence. My jaw tightens and my shoulders clench and my stomach closes in on itself like a pufferfish in reverse.
It's hard.
So the other day I made up my mind: I shall sit next to a complete stranger and get their story.
I did the first part.
I smile ackwardly, all that.
But then I hesitated for a bit.
And thirty seconds later I decided that well it's too late now.
For the next twenty minutes we ate in silence.
I had carrots and rice and chicken, I think.